


“Bad Day” Doesn’t Even Begin to Describe It

by JewishDavidJacobs



Series: David & Judaism [5]
Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Davey is a good friend, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Found Family, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jack and Crutchie are good siblings, Jack and Davey just want to cuddle, Jewish David Jacobs, Judaism, M/M, Medda is a good mom, Past Child Abuse, Race is not having a good time, Religion, Smalls is my own version of Smalls not the canon one, Swimmer!Davey, because why not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:20:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24572170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JewishDavidJacobs/pseuds/JewishDavidJacobs
Summary: Davey is looking forward to dragging Jack to bed and cuddling with him. When he gets to his house, however, the family is gathered in the den and Race is crying.Despite feeling unqualified, Davey does his best to convince him of the truth: that being religious and being gay aren’t mutually exclusive, and that it’s not just young liberals who think so.
Relationships: David Jacobs/Jack Kelly, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Racetrack Higgins & David Jacobs, Spot Conlon/Racetrack Higgins
Series: David & Judaism [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1703293
Comments: 10
Kudos: 104





	“Bad Day” Doesn’t Even Begin to Describe It

**Author's Note:**

> Just as a preemptive warning: this fic discusses coming to terms with your sexuality or gender and how faith can make you feel. Additionally, this is in NO WAY meant to bash any religion. It’s only criticizing people who use their faith (whatever that may be) to spread hatred.  
> No religion is better than any other religion and that’s not at all what I’m trying to get at. What it’s trying to say is that everyone‘s experience is different. This is not implying that Judaism is better than Catholicism or that Catholicism is better than Judaism, and please know that I don’t think that. This is meant to be a supportive story that crosses the religious divide, and supports both people of faith and atheists.

Davey was tired from a long day of school followed by swim practice. He was very much looking forward to collapsing on his boyfriend’s bed and making him cuddle with him for at least ninety minutes.

He was almost to the Larkin household (i.e., the Larkin-Kelly-Morris-Higgins household) so he fished his key out of his bag. Jack had given it to him about a year ago, with full permission from the rest of his family. It was incredibly touching that they had practically brought him into the family. Sure, he’d been friends with all three of the boys for many years and dating one of them for almost three, but to have a key to your boyfriend’s house at age seventeen (now eighteen) was special. He rubbed his thumb over it happily.

Jack knew he was coming because he had told him at lunch. He always told Davey he didn’t have to let him know (so did the rest of the family) but he liked to tell at least one of them just in case it was a bad time to come. Plus, Jack had the same freedom to come to his house and twice now they had ended up at the other’s house at the same time.

Davey stopped at the mailbox to retrieve the mail that his boyfriend and his siblings always forgot to bring in on their way home. He pulled the screen door open, rested it on his back and put his key in the lock of the dark red door that always reminded him of autumn, in some strange, comforting way. As soon as he finished getting it open, he heard quiet cries. 

Davey knew by now what Jack’s crying sounded like and this wasn’t it. It sounded like Race. He quietly shut the door behind him and headed towards the living room where the sounds were coming from. As soon as he entered the kitchen (which was separated from the den by only a knee wall), they noticed him. The whole family was there including even five-year-old Smalls, who was sitting on Jack’s lap.

“Um, hi,” he greeted in a hushed voice, tossing the mail down on the table. “Is everything all right? I mean, obviously not. I can- I can go if you’d like.”

Race shook his head, still crying. Davey gently put his bag down on one of the chairs and entered the den. He started to sit down awkwardly in front of Medda’s armchair but Jack looked at him with pleading eyes and so he went to sit with his boyfriend instead. He laced an arm around his back and moved his thumb back and forth on his hip bone in what was hopefully a reassuring or comforting way. 

Race kept crying into Charlie’s shirt. Medda eventually took pity on Davey and looked to him. 

“Race has had a bad day,” she said, “but that’s all right because everyone does sometimes and we’re all here for him, right?”

Davey nodded. 

“Of course.”

Race pulled back momentarily and said, “It wasn’t a bad day, Mama! I didn’t fail a test or have a fight with Spot!”

“I know, sweetheart, but I didn’t want to say anything else without your permission.”

“It wasn’t a bad day,” he repeated, looking at Davey. He didn’t continue. 

“Okay. What was it then?”

“I got a phone call,” he spat.

“I-I’m sorry, Race, I don’t under-”

“From  _ them.” _

__ Oh fuck. “Them” could only refer to Race’s biological parents. Davey had never had the displeasure of meeting them, but he’d heard stories and he knew they tried to get in contact every once and a while.

“I’m sorry.” He looked and saw that Smalls had her head buried in Jack’s shoulder so he didn’t need to sign. “You shouldn’t have had to deal with that. Can I ask how they-”

“They changed their number,” Jack told him, “but we got no idea how they got his. He changed it the last time.”

“They got it from the internet, Jack! You can find anything if you look hard enough. They put in the effort to be able to call me and tell me how disgusting I am and how much God hates me!” 

“God doesn’t hate you, Race,” Charlie said. 

“You don’t know that, Crutchie!”

“Do you think God hates me?” Jack asked. 

Race glared at him.

“You always say you don’t know what you believe.”

“Yeah, but you do. Do you think God hates me and Dave?”

“Jack,” Medda said reproachfully.

“I don’t even know what  _ I _ believe anymore!”

“But it still matters to you, so answer the question.”

“No! I don’t think God hates you guys!”

“What about Spot? Does God hate him?”

“No!”

“Then why would he hate you?”

“I-I…shit, Jack, it doesn’t work like that! You don’t get it! You aren’t and never were religious so you don’t know what it feels like!” Race argued. He looked at Davey and Davey could see the sadness mixed with hope in his eyes. “How do you do it, Mouth? How do you not hate yourself for it?”

“Race, it isn’t fair to-”

“That’s okay, Medda. I don’t mind,” he assured. Davey sighed, unsure of how to go about it. “I used to a little bit because of what I saw in society and online about God hating gays but…I had it easier than you.” 

“How?” Race asked desperately and rubbed his eyes.

“Most Reform Jews don’t care. Reform  _ Judaism _ doesn’t really care.”

“It doesn’t?”

Davey shook his head. 

“No. That’s not to say there aren’t Reform Jews who don’t struggle with their identity because there absolutely are and I don’t mean to minimize that. There are also probably many Reform Jews who are homophobic or transphobic. I’m just saying that most of my issues accepting myself had more to do with society than faith.

“We banned discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation in the late seventies. By the time I was born same-sex marriage was supported including with religious ceremony. Now there are even transgender rabbis.”

“Really?”

Davey nodded. 

“Really. I don’t think for a second my religion or my movement is perfect. Hell no,” he added with a laugh. “We’ve got our own issues. No religion is superior to another. I want you to know that I’m not saying this to make you feel bad or, or, or jealous or something. I just don’t want you to think I can understand what it’s like to be told homosexuality is a sin by my faith so I can’t share any experience with that. I’ve been told it by more conservative Jews, but…Race, God doesn’t hate you, okay? I know my religious authority for you is probably of slightly less importance than the clergy-” Race laughed and Davey smiled at him. “-but, you know, I wrote a paper on homosexuality in the Torah and the relationship between Kind David and Jonathan. I talked about the history of translations from ancient Hebrew and the context of different cultural impacts on them. You’re welcome to read it. No pressure, obviously, but I figured I would offer. I can’t promise it will help at all or that-”

“Yes,” he said, cutting Davey off. “Yes, please.”

Davey smiled at him.

“Sure. I can share the google doc with you.” Race nodded and so he took out his phone to do so.

“Thanks.” He wiped tears from his face.

“Of course. And by the way, this definitely won’t fix everything. You were…I don’t want to overstep, but you were traumatized by what they did and said to you. A new perspective on translations isn’t going to suddenly erase that.”

Race laughed.

“Yeah. I’m just gonna…” he trailed off and stood up, pointing in the direction of the stairs.

“You sure you want to be alone, baby?” Medda asked. 

He nodded. 

“I need to read it alone. You don’t mind do you, Crutch?” The two of them shared a room. 

“Course not. I’m going to help Mama with Smalls’ bath anyway.” 

“Thanks.” He left and nobody spoke until they heard his bedroom door latch.

“You’re a good boy, David,” Medda told him as he felt Jack kiss his temple. 

“I wish I could be of more use, but if that even helps him a little then…I hope I didn’t upset him more.”

“How would you have?” Charlie prompted.

“I didn’t want to make him feel like I was bashing Christianity or something, just people who use faith to spread hatred regardless of their religion. I was only trying to show that lots of people who are deeply religious don’t feel that way. I didn’t just mean my religion either, I meant people of any religion.”

“You didn’t make it worse, David. You were articulate and gentle and kind. He would never think you were bashing his faith.” 

“Okay. Good then. Should I not have mentioned the-”

“I think it helped,” Charlie said. Jack nodded in agreement. 

“Yeah. He needs reminding that he’s not supposed to magically feel better. He always tries to not let it affect him and he never acknowledges that it does.”

“Hypocrite,” Davey teased, bumping shoulders with him. Medda smiled at them both. 

“Is she asleep, Jack?” she asked her son. 

“Yeah. Want me to-”

“I’ve got her,” she said and stood to come lift Smalls from his arms. Charlie followed her out of the room and Davey and Jack were left alone.

Jack wrapped his arms around Davey and rested his chin on his shoulder, facing towards his neck. 

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” He placed his arm on Jack’s back, his hand in his hair.

“You helped a lot.”

“Well,” Davey said as he scratched Jack’s head soothingly, “he’s helped me so many times I can’t begin to count.”

“Mmm,” Jack hummed and pressed a soft kiss to his neck. “I’m assuming you came over here to make me cuddle you.”

Davey scoffed. 

“Well, don’t let me force you into anything.” 

Jack rolled his eyes, let go, and stood up.

“Come on.” He offered Davey a hand. “Let’s go put on pajamas and lie in bed.”

“We should probably do our homework first.”

“It’s Friday.”

“Yeah, but do you really want to put it off?”

“Dave,” he said seriously, “I’m exhausted and drained and I know you are too.”

“All right.” He accepted the hand and let Jack help him up. Davey wrapped his arms around his neck and gave him a quick kiss. “Let’s go.”

“How was swim?”

“It was fine. Elmer kicked ass today.”

“Yeah?” Jack asked, stroking Davey’s back as he lay on Jack’s chest, their legs somewhat intertwined.

“Yeah. Did I tell you that Les wants to swim in high school?”

“Really? That’s adorable. He wants to be just like his big brother.”

“Or Sarah.” 

Jack chuckled. 

“Or her. You know, you look really cute in my sweatshirt.”

“Thanks, but you say that every time I wear one.”

“Yeah, but with the hood up it’s a whole new look. Plus, you know I can’t resist talking about how adorable sleepy Davey is.”

“Mmm.”

“Want to spend the night?” 

“It’s Friday.”

“Oh yeah. Tomorrow night then?” 

“Tomorrow night. I should actually get going in like half an hour,” he informed him. “I can practically hear you pouting. You’re welcome to join, but…you should probably stay with Racer.”

“Yeah. Save me some challah?”

“It’s not nearly as good a day later, but if there’s leftover I’ll bring it.” He yawned and snuggled in closer to Jack.

“I love you.” 

“Because I bring you food?” He felt Jack shrug. 

“It’s not  _ not _ a factor. There’s also Sarah and Les.”

“You could see them without dating me.”

“Yeah, but the third factor is that you’re a good cuddler.”

Davey chuckled. 

“So food, siblings, and cuddles are all I’m good for?”

“Mmm. And helping my brother.” He put a finger under Davey’s chin and they leant to meet each other for a loving, warm kiss. They pulled apart and seconds later there was a knock on the door. 

“Come in!” Jack called.

The door swung open and without turning the lights on, Race practically dove onto the bed and pulled Davey off of Jack and into a hug. As soon as he processed what was happening, Davey pushed them onto their feet so he could return it properly.

“Thank you,” Race whispered into his ear.

“Of course.” He could feel Race’s shaking diaphragm and hiccups. “I’m always here for you, Racer, you know that.” The other boy nodded and pulled away. He wiped his face with his sleeve and Davey tried not to cringe.

“Do you mind if I…do you mind if I share this with some of my other friends?”

“Feel free.”

“And can I print it?” he asked shyly.

“Sure, but why?”

Race shrugged and he figured that was as much of an answer as he was going to get. Davey walked over to the bag he had brought upstairs with him and pulled out a binder. He opened it, pulled out the essay, detached the grading sheet and handed it to Race. “There.”

“You don’t need it?”

“Nope. It’s already been graded and even if it hadn’t, I could print another.”

Race stood awkwardly for a moment, rocking slightly on his feet.

“Did your teacher say you were wrong?” He was looking at the floor now.

“No, Race,” he said with a smile. “Father Michael gave it an A.”

His head shot up.

“He…what?”

“It’s the religion course I’m taking at the community college for credits. My professor just so happens to also be a priest.” 

Race nodded. He didn’t look sad or unhappy, nor did he look elated. Davey figured he needed time to process. It had clearly been a very long day for him. “You should go take a nap, pal,” Jack, who was propped up against his headboard, suggested. “It’ll do you some good.”

“Yeah. I’ll go…I’ll go do that.” He hugged Davey one more time, so fast Davey wasn’t even sure that it had happened, and left, closing the door behind him. 

Jack extended his arm and Davey saw it in his peripheral vision. He took his boyfriend’s hand and lay back down with him.

“I love you so much.” 

“I love  _ you _ so much.”

“We’ll always be together, right, Dave?”

“Of course, Jacky, we’ve talked about this. You’re not feeling insecure, are you?” he asked, worried. 

“No, not insecure. I just want you to know how much I love you, even though I can’t really describe it.”

“Well, I’ll always be here.”

“Good. It’s more than just me who needs you to stick around.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this essay for a class last semester and it was extremely cathartic. Thank you for reading and please let me know what you think.  
> Just to reiterate, this is in NO WAY meant to bash any religion. It’s only criticizing people who use their faith (whatever that may be) to spread hatred.  
> No religion is better than any other religion and that’s not at all what I’m trying to get at. What it’s trying to say is that everyone‘s experience is different. This is not implying that Judaism is better than Catholicism or that Catholicism is better than Judaism, and please know that I don’t think that. This is meant to be a supportive story that crosses the religious divide, and supports both people of faith and atheists.


End file.
